Not Looking Back
by Dream-Walker1436
Summary: Rin is trying to start a new life, but he keeps pulling her back. He keeps pushing her away, thinking only for himself. She's finally been pushed to far, and he doesn't know what he had until it's gone.Rated M to be safe.


Disclaimer: Inuyasha doesn't belong to me, nor any of it's characters. The plot, however, is all mine!

**Not Looking Back**

"**Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling.**

**If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but a much less magical."**

**-Trey Parker and Matt Stone**

Rin looked down at the torn and tattered ticket that she held in her hand. It was bent and torn by her constantly touching it, as if she let it out of her reach it would catch the wind and fly away.

"Miss?" Rin looked up into the eyes of the man who had sold her the ticket. "Are you Miss ah, . . ." He grabbed a piece of paper out of his pocket and squinted at his writing, "A Miss Rin Sora Kentaro?" He was a polite man, a little on the heavy side, with the jowls that jiggled when he talked. But polite; he didn't look at her breasts when she bought the ticket at least. "I'm sorry," he said when she still hadn't said anything. "But you were the only woman who fit the man's description."

Rin sat up straighter and the hair on the back of her neck stood up, "What man?"

The man scratched his head head and he had a look of confusion on his face. "Well, now that you mention it he never gave me a name. I just said that I didn't know who he was looking for and that we didn't have any Rin Kentaro on the books. I did write down his number if you are this Rin he was looking for."

Rin couldn't conceal her relief that he hadn't told who ever called that she was here. The man smiled down at her in sympathy and handed her the paper. "My sister was in an abusive marriage. She had to escape on the train and went into hiding from her husband for two years. I would never give out information like that." He didn't say that he thought she was a woman of abuse too, but then again he didn't have to. It was all in his eyes and his body language. And he had also given her a card for a woman's shelter. "Their good people there." He didn't seem to know what else to say and he just turned around and went back to his post.

Rin wanted to call him back and tell him that that wasn't her. That she wasn't running away, that she wasn't abused. But she couldn't. Because it was true. Just not the way he thought. She refused to look at the phone number she held in her hand, instead she looked around at the people who were rushing around in the train station. Mother's juggling their children and trying to get them to mind. Businessmen talking on their cell phones and barely aware of the world around them. Rin could hear the yells, and voices and laughs and even a child crying all around her. She sat there and didn't do anything but look and listen. Slowly she looked down at the number scribbled on the paper and she wasn't surprised to see _his_ number on it.

Tears crowded in her eyes and slowly spilled from her big brown eyes. She stared at the number and slowly the numbers blurred and she couldn't even read it anymore. She didn't know why he kept trying to take care of her. He said many times before that she wasn't for him, that she didn't have the figure of a woman to attract him, that she was too young to deter him, that she was wrong for him. Yet he kept trying to pull her to him every time she finally found enough strength to push herself away from him.

It was like cutting apart of herself off each time, she was so connected with him. She had known right away that he was her life mate, as he had known that she was his Chosen. That she was destined to be his Mate. But he refused to believe it, and had pushed her away everyday since then. He blamed her for trying to ruin his engagement. She can still remember the feel of his hands on her body, the way he touched her, the way he looked at her. His lips were so soft, much more than what they looked like. It was only suppose to be a kiss, one kiss. It was her goodbye kiss to him. She knew that it was wrong, that he was engaged but she couldn't stop herself. She wanted just that one kiss before she left, but it had gotten out of hand. He had made her feel so beautiful, desirable, he made her feel wanted. Whispering words of love, and desire to her. He had left her alone in the room afterwards. His face never changed but she could feel his cold anger fill the room. The feelings of beauty and love fled her when he looked at her with such cold, angry eyes. She had fled the house and went home, crying for days. God, how used she felt.

Then she had the stupidity to tell her father that she loved an Inu demon. Her father, who believed that all demons should have been killed and that mating with humans should be banned.

"What the fuck are you saying! Didn't I teach you anything, you stupid insolent child!" The blow after blow of his shoe to her back and ribs. The slaps and punches. And after he was became tired, he leaned on the wall, breathing hard, with tears in his eyes. To this day the most horrific thing about that day was that her father had cried, that she had made him cry. "I disown you. I have no daughter." Then he had simply left her bleeding, and crying on her bedroom floor as if nothing happened.

"Mama? Why is the pretty lady crying? Is she sad?" The whisper of a girl, that wasn't that much of a whisper, brought Rin back from her thoughts. Rin looked up to see the woman looking at her like her daughter. She was a beautiful woman, and her daughter was absolutely adorable. The young woman smiled at Rin and picked up her daughter.

"Sometimes people just need to cry, love." She kissed her and put her back on the ground. The small girl smiled a gap tooth smile at her mother then looked over at Rin. She looked at her mother again, then ran over to Rin. "Mika!" Her mother yelled after her.

Mika stopped in front of Rin and smiled shyly. Then she gave her a hug, reaching her little arms around Rin's neck. "When I cry, Mama always gives me a hug and I feel better." She whispered in her ear. Rin felt let out a small sob and gently hugged the girl back. "It'll get better." Mika said then pulled back when her mother caught up with her, and she smiled at her. "I wanted to make her feel better, Mama."

The young woman smiled slightly at Rin and picked up her daughter, "That was nice, Mika, but you can't just give hugs to strangers. Remember what I've told you." She smiled once again at Rin and walked away with her daughter in her arms, Mika waving good bye to Rin.

Rin smiled and gently touched her stomach, wondering if she could be carrying her own child. The thought warmed her, and she almost didn't mind so much that the father didn't want to have anything to do with her. Almost. She knew that it was going to hurt for a long time, that the longing she feels for him will never go away. But she was hoping that she would get used to the pain over time.

"Train twelve is now boarding. Train twelve." A female voice announced over the intercom, and Rin slowly stood up and grabbed her small bag. She wiped the tears off her face and walked toward train twelve. She was leaving for the country, where she decided to live for awhile. She was technically no longer Rin Sora Kentaro; her father had disowned her. She had thought about it and had picked out her new name. She was so used to Rin that she wanted something very close to it, so she had picked Rinora. It could be shortened to Rin as a nickname. Rinora Taka. The last name that she dreamed of having was Takahashi, but figured this was as close as she was going to get.

"Ticket, Miss." She handed over her ticket and boarded the train. She figured that if she turned out to be pregnant that she would say that she was a widower. That way her baby wouldn't walk around with the stigmata of bastard on his head. Hanyou was going to be hard enough.

Rin sat facing away from the window, and though she still cried a tear every few seconds, she refused to look back. Which was a real shame, as she might have seen the tall man, with flowing white hair standing out on the platform, searching for a woman. Although she might have been surprised to see how ruffled her looked. Usually he was immaculately groomed, but right now he looked like he was half insane, and half in love. Which, really, was the same thing.

The train whistled and slowly started to pull away from the platform. Neither lover saw each other. Rinora Taka was looking to her foggy future. And the handsome young man was searching for Rin Sora Kentaro, not knowing that she was no longer her.

Well, this is a part to a story I wrote about Rin and Sessomaru. It's not exactly how it goes down in the story but it's close. I was just trying to see what you think. It's actually the prelude to the story I'm currently writing now, Tokyo Angel. I'm trying to see if I should write it after I'm done with Tokyo Angel.

So, please review and tell me what you think. Is it okay? Crappy? Sounds Boring or kinda over down, tell me.

Oh, and THANK YOU FOR READING!!


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